Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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