I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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