Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
