Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
