But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
