Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
