I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
