Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
