Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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