when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
