You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
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There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
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its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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