Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize