finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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