First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
