If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
