it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
