after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
