just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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