What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
