Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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