I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
