Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
