yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
