Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
