turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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