And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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