every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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