angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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