i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize