last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize