and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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