I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
