I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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