ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
