Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
