everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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