why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
