at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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