You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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