my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
