We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
