Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
