and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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