I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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