I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
