just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
