If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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