She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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