Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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