you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
