I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
