Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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