we're blogging at a bar
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
