Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
