so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize