you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
