you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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