Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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