absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
